[Note: This series originally started as a project on Reddit, and we are archiving the posts here on our site. You can find the original Bible Study posts here.]
Welcome to our quasi-Bible Study group focused on taking the Diary Books the most seriously anyone has ever taken them in their whole lives. Each week, we will read a single page, and then dive deep into that single page, trying to figure out what the page can teach us about ATEEZ and, more importantly, life itself.
We will be incorporating some traditional bible study practices and close reading techniques for our own fun and bliss and posting the transcript of our chat. If you'd like to join us, we will attempt to post every Sunday morning in a continuation of our Sunday School theme.
Today, we are looking at Fever Part 1, Page: A. Intro “The time passing by, our dreams”.
01: what are your thoughts on the page?
BobbyJ: This is one of my favorite entries because of the imagery. Maze of cement walls, rusty iron gates, wild grass—so very visual. I also love that we don’t know who’s speaking and it really doesn’t matter.
GD: Yeah, I noticed the same thing--each line has a word that really helps set this very vivid picture and creates a really nice tone for the whole thing. Even words like "procession of busy people" in the first line.
BobbyJ: Like I get the sense of busy city noises far away. Intern was really just flexing in this entry.
GD: We've read Peter Pan before, and more than most Ateez things, I can feel that influence here. The second to last line: "void of compromise and tameness." They can do whatever they want, be whoever they want, and it feels wild and free. There is something tying wildness to freedom for me there, which we know is the opposite of Strictland.
BobbyJ: That line always sticks with me. Like I need to chew on it before moving on. Also that it’s stated in the negative? It’s a criticism of adulthood—the procession of busy people.
GD: Yes! I think a thing that is sticking out for me is that I can't fight the feeling they're painting this world to make the adults feel robotic and soulless--very controlled; like the android guardians (and I guess even the citizens of Strictland) we will meet later.
BobbyJ: As though people have voluntarily made themselves to live without emotions. Like a mirror of Strictland.
GD: The speaker even calls it their "own world" and notes that it is "separating" them from the adult world, which definitely ties into a lot of stuff that will happen over the course of the story too. Some foreshadowing? Or even just picking up the themes and ideals of multiple worlds?
BobbyJ: So, in Peter Pan, the children go to Neverland which is incredibly dangerous but in which they are free to do whatever they want. It strikes me that Strictland is a lot like Neverland. Would Ateez have been able to metaphorically go up against The Man in the real world the way they can in Strictland?
GD: Interesting. You know, our Ateez has a freedom in Strictland perhaps because they are not of Strictland. Isn't there a certain freedom in being able to leave? In not having any connections in the world? We know that in their own lives they have families, responsibilities, goals, etc, all of which are things that can take away one’s own personal freedom. That's not the case in Strictland. There is nothing tying them to that world--it is a place they can live out their dreams.
BobbyJ: I know this is getting ahead of this very first entry, but while I was watching the Diary Film last night, I was pondering why each member has such a sad backstory and whether each individual story has any bearing on the larger narrative. But they all feel isolated. As though they don’t have much tethering them to the real world—or rather their home world. It’s like how teen heroes/heroines are often orphaned so that they can have ridiculous adventures most parents would frown on.
GD: You're right; and honestly isolation is a recurring theme in much of their song lyrics too, I think. But on this specific page, without all of their other perspectives, you do read the isolation from their own world, but the togetherness they have found here in the warehouse. It is the peek into their found family.
BobbyJ: Isolation by choice. Like, forget the rest of the world. We’ll isolate together
GD: There's something interesting for me about the idea of everyone in the world being isolated, but how they're isolating makes the difference in the experience. Like who/what are they isolating themselves from? A question for me to explore as we read more.
02: sacred practice
For this step today, we will take a random line from our reading and look at it closely (this is inspired by one of the practices they do in the podcastHarry Potter and the Sacred Textcalled Lectio Divina). We will look at this line of the text using 4 guiding questions: 1) What is happening at a narrative level? 2) What is happening metaphorically and allegorically? 3) What does this remind you of in your own life? 4) What is the text inviting you to do?
Opening the iron gate, welcomed by our own space.
GD: Alright, the line our random number generator has chosen is line 9, which for me is "Opening the iron gate, welcomed by our own space." So we start with just a narrative interpretation: what is happening in the story at this line? Pretty self explanatory.
BobbyJ: Okay—someone, one of The Eight, is approaching the warehouse.
GD: Nailed it. I don't know why, but it wasn't until re-reading this line right now that I realized there was a literal gate around the already closed up warehouse. Which I suppose takes us to the next question: what is happening metaphorically/allegorically in this line? So you're supposed to consider other media where these themes and ideas exist, as well as within the media of Ateez.
BobbyJ: So, my first thought was the reinforcement of the voluntary isolation. Keeping the rest of the world out.
GD: Yes, and the word that sticks out to me really is iron. Biblically and in other literature, iron often represents strength. It's not just a crappy wooden fence--they're locking themselves away from the rest of the world with iron.
BobbyJ: I have to wonder if that’s a translation thing or if they purposely chose iron over “metal.” But that’s the conceit of the exercise, to assume everything is purposeful, right?
GD: Yes--we pretend that every choice was made On Purpose to further the Meaning of the text. But we do know that KQ often eschews more traditional translations in favor of different ones, so I don't think it's that far off to make the assumption.
BobbyJ: I find the contrast between “iron gate” and “welcoming” interesting. The gate is there for a measure of protection, but it’s not necessarily locked. So it’s not a hostile kind of gate, if that makes sense.
GD: I have no idea why, but I'm reminded of the idea of the gates of heaven. Perhaps because we called this Sunday School and once upon a time I did in fact go to Sunday School.
BobbyJ: It’s like the original gatekeeping: in a sense all are welcome, but only if you meet the requirements, so to speak.
GD: The idea that an oasis is on the other side of a gate/fence is not uncommon. Even the Secret Garden has a paradise hidden behind some sort of gate/fence, which I am also reminded of, perhaps because when I read this, I image the outer world so bleak, and then you have the paradise if only you're willing and brave enough to claim it.
BobbyJ: Utopias are often locked away, aren’t they? As though the common rabble would spoil them—which is probably true.
GD: Is there a true Utopia? Or is utopia always dystopia underneath? Even here, in this utopia of the warehouse, we know that all boys are not feeling as utopic (probably not a word), but we don't find that out until we will read more pages, so I guess getting ahead of myself.
BobbyJ: Depends on whether you believe in objective Good and Evil or whether everything exists on a grayscale.
GD: Thinking about it, each person's idea of utopia would be different right? Because we all like and want different things. The only way to create a utopia that appeals to everyone would be to create a world where feelings/emotions/desires are all washed away in favor of sameness, which brings me to The Giver.
BobbyJ: Unfortunately this brings me to Eye in the Sky. Each dimension the characters visited was another person’s idea of utopia—which was generally hell for everyone else.
GD: I understand not a good book, but a very interesting idea.
BobbyJ: It would have been if it wasn’t batshit insane. Forgive me for swearing during Bible study.
GD: Well, the contrast between the iron gate and the word welcome can also tie into this idea: that while it is welcome to some, there are others who will not find it welcome and who will not like it. That contrast exists.
BobbyJ: Again, getting ahead of myself, but TW:M implies that there are people in Strictland who are happy/content with the status quo. So Ateez shaking things up is not going to be 100% welcome.
GD: The status quo is often where many people feel happiest.
BobbyJ: Which does remind me of The Ring—suppose they enforce their worldview on the people. Are they better or worse than Z? What’s the difference? What do they do with the power they have? But again, ahead of myself.
GD: Well and that reminds me of Left Eye talking at the end of Guerrilla, but yes, let's give ourselves 30 some odd weeks until we revisit this, and go to our next question.
BobbyJ: Putting pins in everything.
GD: Next question: what does this remind you of in your own life? I actually got really excited when I read this quote because it reminded me of that waterfall post I just wrote. The idea of wanting to have "our own space." It's so very relatable to me. Even in my own house, I have a room that is just 'for me'--no one else goes in there, and I am the only one who uses it. I keep it exactly how I want it to be. And when I go in there, I do feel this like... breath of relief? Like, ah, this is my space. Like I'm welcomed into it.
BobbyJ: I was thinking of this earlier—but it reminded me of how I’ve pulled away from the larger fandom (i.e. the general sub which is still a microcosm of the fandom at large) in favor of smaller spaces that feel safer and more controlled, which does kind of tie into your waterfall post as well.
GD: I too have pulled away from the main subs in favor of living out my ‘own space’ dreams in smaller spaces. And I guess there is some danger in that.. is it necessarily good to isolate yourself into your own space? Ateez here isn't changing their own world by hiding themselves away--they're creating a fake utopia.
BobbyJ: To be safe is not always good. They have to leave the warehouse before they’re able to do anything. But at the same time, you still need that safe space. Even once the revolution begins, they still have a hideout
GD: And you know, it feels important that it started in this safe space. These boys as we met them were not in a place to start the revolution, and maybe that's okay too. Maybe there should be some grace in that.
BobbyJ: I think it’s important that they weren’t ready-made soldiers. Maybe that’s the point of their backstories—to establish them as weak, vulnerable.
GD: Truthfully, for me when it comes to mains, I have limited time to spend on Ateez related activities, and I just want to be in a place where it's pleasant and I can be excited. I don't actually need to start a revolution. Nothing bad is happening in the space outside my own; I'm not being persecuted or hurt or held back. And it feels like that's an important distinction here as I think about the dangers of making "our own space" because it's not quite the same. I get the feeling that Ateez was unhappy in the outside world, and they retreated away from it to find each other. There's nothing to say that they won't one day change their own worlds too after fixing Strictland, and it would in fact make a lot of storytelling sense. But, establishing their own space and discovering who they truly are, is an important part in the step to one day saving themselves. They couldn't just skip over it.
BobbyJ: I think it’s pretty clear they were unhappy given what we know comes later. But I think the overall point is they need both to actually grow as people. You find yourself in that safe space and you are tested in the wide world. But right now, where we are in this moment, they have a temporary utopia where they can be happy. I think experiencing this happiness, short-lived though it may be, is what prompts them to fight for Strictland.
GD: I think that's right. They know what it would mean to lose it, which makes fighting for it important. Alright, let’s go to our final question, which is sort of related. We read to grow and become better people, so the last question ask us: what is the text inviting you to do in your own life?
BobbyJ:
Protect my safe spaces well
Get out of my safe spaces
GD: Right. I think for me, I'm thinking about the iron gate. I feel like I've done a really good job of creating boundaries in my own life that help me make my own space for me to be me. But I'd like to make sure the iron gate doesn't necessarily ever close and lock behind me. That I use the safe space well when I need to, but don't become afraid to step outside of it or let anyone else in.
03: Closing
Thank you for joining us in discussing the first page of Fever Part 1 Diary book! We hope you will join us in discussing these texts deeply and thinking lots of Big ClownTiny Thoughts. We'd love to hear anything that stuck out to you on this page of the diary or what the text is inviting you to do in your own life!
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