[Note: This series originally started as a project on Reddit, and we will be posting concurrently on both sites for the next month. For an explanation of what bible study is, please review our bible study overview here.]
Today, we are turning to Yunho again and diving deeper into his page with our sacred practice. Our sacred practice is sermon building, which means that we choose a line of text that speaks to us personally and discuss how we would pull a life lesson from it.
Join us as we reminisce fondly about what ATEEZ and their music means to us.
BobbyJ: I feel like we're preaching sermons today
GD: We are indeed. Do we have anything... to lead us in? The problem with splitting them is that the ending and beginning of the middle
BobbyJ: Usually we start with further thoughts
GD: I am not sure I have any. I suppose I should re-read it
BobbyJ: I'm just thinking about how I tend to get fixated on details and chronology when the important thing to take away from this entry is Yunho's empathy for Left Eye
But also, I feel the details and the tangents are sort of the heart of bible study
GD: I have a.. factual note
No, I was wrong
I thought the "we had to lure him to a place where the smoke was not severe" was giving me more information than it was. But it's just saying that's how they can make him understand that his daughter is an illusion. I thought it was telling me something that could help with why Jongho sees the illusion through the gas mask.. like in some places the smoke is just too powerful
BobbyJ: It does tell us that the smoke collects in certain areas and seems to be less powerful when the air is more clear. So perhaps the gas masks had only been tested in places where the smoke wasn't the strongest
GD: Right, presumably there is a higher concentration of the smoke the deeper you go. And most people would have no reason to go that deep.
I suppose with that, it's time to preach our sermon.
03: sacred practice
GD: I don't remember who's turn it is to write their sermon first. Have you chosen a line?
BobbyJ: I don't even have my bible
Okay. . . I have my line and I do think it's my turn to go first
GD: Thank god
BobbyJ: My line is "I personally wanted to help him out as well."
So I think one of the things we've lightly discussed is "why Ateez?" Why exactly are a group of boys who want to sing and dance the "chosen ones" to liberate an oppressed world that mostly doesn't want to be saved? And I think one of the things we've consistently seen throughout the second diary is that Ateez have no plans to stay and solve Strictland's problems. They're going to get the cromer and go home and that's it. And I wonder sometimes if they all feel a bit haunted by their failure to stay together in the original world. And if that has sapped their group self esteem a bit? And I know we've also talked about what's the thing that causes each boy to decide to stay.
But one of the things we also see is the different strengths they bring to the table. Hongjoong's drive to keep everyone safe no matter what and his ability to think on his feet, Seonghwa's and San's attention to detail, Wooyoung's willingness to help others with very little provocation, Yunho's empathy, Jongho's strength, Yeosang's dedication, Mingi's realism. So, to me, in spite of how ill-equipped they may feel to lead a revolution, they already are the sort of people that are necessary to lead a revolution.
And I suppose the reminder to myself is that in spite of how much imposter syndrome I may deal with when new opportunities open up or when I'm asked to take a leadership role (or even if I really develop some character and request a leadership role), I actually already am the person I need to be to succeed in whatever that endeavor is.
GD: I really like the idea that each of the pages shows us what skill the boy is bringing to the table. I think we (society, not us personally) undervalue some of the soft skills that many of the boys are bringing to the table
And we do that in our own life too
I once read an article about how necessary the person in the office who gets the birthday cakes for everyone's birthday is? Because they bring the work place together and help make it a community which increases job satisfaction, which also increases work output. But that person is almost always a volunteer doing unpaid labor to help the company
(In the article it also pointed out that it was almost always a woman)
BobbyJ: Because men are rarely taught to develop empathy. It's not necessarily a natural skill
GD: Yeah, one of my friend's is transitioning and she lamented that she was never socialized with the skills needed to be a woman and finds it hard to interact with other women
I think I have my line. Do you have more thoughts in your sermon?
BobbyJ: No. Left it all on the table.
GD: Mine is like a half line. He "has become a completely different person ever since."
I would want to talk about those moments that change us so completely that we can't be the same person we used to be. I am, in many ways, the same me I have always been. But I have had moments that so completely changed my life that I found it hard to even recognize myself. And I think that can be very hard.
But I suppose Left Eye's reminder is one of finding yourself again, and that not all changes that make you unrecognizable are bad. Because, looking ahead, we know Left Eye becomes unrecognizable again after ATEEZ saves him. He's now part of the revolution, and he probably wouldn't recognize either of the prior iterations of himself.
So for me, it's the idea that change is a process, and who you are in a moment isn't who you are forever that I would want to focus on.
BobbyJ: I am reminded of a couple things. A few things actually
I'm reminded of the conversation we had shortly after you were diagnosed. About how much of you is you and how much is you with adhd? And similarly 2. something I think I've mentioned before is the fear of losing myself as I grow older--of losing interest in the things I love. I think I've mentioned that I was in the middle of having a whole crisis about getting into kpop and Ateez specifically at my (ancient) age when Answer was released and how that song just settled something in my heart and reminded me it's okay to just be where you are for as long as you are there
And finally I'm reminded of Turbulence
At the end of this road, where should we be?
What should we become, in what form?
I'm already overwhelmed
To be myself barely
Is anyone listening
Can someone just embrace me?
Where should we be, in what form
What should we become, and I?
Just all of the chorus
And then:
It's okay to be here, just as we are
Just like now tonight
I don't have anything to say about all these things. Just things I'm connecting with red yarn on the murder board in my heart
GD: I think this is why Turbulence is the song of my heart like Answer is the song of yours
It is everything that I feel. It's really hard to be a person and to not know where you will be at the end of the road? But it's okay to just be here as I am in a moment
BobbyJ: I feel like my brain is too weak for all the thoughts I'm trying to think today
But I will say, and I know we've talked about this before, that I so appreciate that Ateez releases songs that I feel I can relate to. I suppose songs about being the richest and the best and the coolest are aspirational to some, but they just feel empty to me. Ateez tends to sing about things that are real. And I think it takes courage to share your real feelings about something instead of just talking about how you're the greatest and everyone wants to be you
GD: I think the greatest gift we can give someone is to see them for who they are, and I think Ateez's music makes people feel seen
Like, oh, someone does feel like me. This is what it means to be a human in this world. I think that's a really precious gift in any art
BobbyJ: Reminds me of what we were saying about Yunho yesterday. That his silliness isn't about him, it's about making the people watching him happy
GD: He's a very precious boy
04: mental murder board
BobbyJ: Anything for the murder board?
GD: I’m interested in the boys who are chosen for internal monologue and the boys who are given action scenes. I'm not entirely sure what there is to say about it, but I find it interesting
BobbyJ: We should see if it switches up in the next diaries
GD: The word “illusion” I would put in big block letters on our murder board
BobbyJ: I have a sudden urge to make an Ateez word cloud. I'm not going to because my to do list is already silly, but it would be interesting to see what stands out
GD: That would be a good project though. Not for today. But like, in general
BobbyJ: You could do it for each era or album to see how themes change
GD: You know I've always been interested in the idea of the Treasure series being a roadmap to the overall story. I wonder if you did it with those albums whether something would reveal itself
Anyways, that's all I have for the mental murder board
05: closing
BobbyJ: Alright then, a hymn for Yunho
GD: Is Illusion too on the nose?
BobbyJ: That's never stopped us before
GD: My prayer for Yunho is that he is as kind to himself as he is to Left Eye here, where he sees someone hurting and wants to help him.
BobbyJ: I agree with this prayer. Anything I might add is based on things that haven't happened yet
GD: Now the most stressful portion of the event
The Rosary
BobbyJ: My suggestion for the rosary is that we perhaps choose short phrases for each member that are based on their character
GD: I agree with the plan. So they can be memorized and used during the weeks as we call out to our patron saints. [Editor's note: we don't pick new patron saints this week because we completed part 1 and part 2 back to back, so we are continuing with the saints chosen last week.]
BobbyJ: Right. So like for Yunho, we've both remarked on his empathy. We also want him to be kind to himself
So, Yunho's could be empathy and kindness
GD: That's nice--I like it
BobbyJ: Should probably start a list on notion
Are we ready to close then?
GD: Empathy and kindness
BobbyJ: Yunho
GD: Be the light
BobbyJ: Halazia
GD: Nailed it
BobbyJ: Painless
Good job, everybody.
Thank you for joining us as we discussed Yunho's journey of overcoming his own past trauma! We will be back next week for the first part of our discussion of the Outro, and we will be joined by a special guest!
Let us know what line you'd build your sermon around, or who you're choosing for your patron saint this week!
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