As an exercise in rediscovery, every other Friday we will place a single ATEEZ track under the microscope to explore its deeper meanings, both to ATEEZ's discography and universe and to ourselves.
I don't know if you know this, but Silver Light was written and released specifically for me.
Silver Light
Release Date: December 1, 2023
Album: The World Ep.Fin: Will
Lyrics: EDEN, Ollounder, Maddox, Peperoni, Oliv, Door, Kim Hongjoong, Song Mingi
Composition & Arrangement: EDEN, Ollounder, Maddox, Peperoni, Oliv, Door
I have long been one of those people who don't really make New Years resolutions. I've always said that if I want to start something new, I can just do it whenever and not wait for a specific day to begin (which is very NLOG of me, ngl). And that would be great. . . if it were true.
Because when I look back over all the times I've decided I need to make a change, it seems that I'm always waiting for something, some sign that it's finally time to take action. I've realized that I actually do require some sense of occasion or impending deadline to make me do literally anything. When I don't have a benchmark or specific beginning and ending in mind, time feels limitless. And we all know it's really not.
I originally had a very different Fix On in mind for today in which I had planned to point out some of the various stupidities of the fandom that persist for absolutely no reason. But tonight is High Halazia, and I really need to turn my eye of scrutiny inwards. So, you're safe for now, Atinys, but I'll be back for you later.
If you follow along with our (mostly) weekly bible studies, you know that each week we pick a patron saint. We choose one of the ATEEZ members who possess strengths or traits we feel would be useful for our weeks ahead. I've realized that for whatever reason, this habit works really well for me. I obviously don't think that I am actually being possessed by the relentless pursuit of perfection of Hongjoong or the strong and persistent self-possession of Jongho but there really is something to setting a specific intention for each week, recognizing potential struggles and figuring out to how counterbalance them, or finding ways to preemptively speak joy into the days to come.
And so it is with that attitude of intention that I am choosing to write about the song that I've chosen to be my Song of the Year: Silver Light.
Silver Light speaks to me in ways that no other song has since Answer, the Reigning Queen of My Heart. She entered my life at a time when I was making a lot of changes and was sorely in need of an anthem to sustain me. Answer also solidified ATEEZ as THE group for me.
And now, I feel myself once again on the verge of change. And just like in 2020, this isn't change that is happening to me (though I'm certain there will be lots of that just as there was back then), but change that I am making happen myself. I am typically a pretty passive and patient person. A lot of the best things in my life are things that have happened to me and that I didn't ever actively pursue. However, I am also constantly haunted by my past, specifically by all the time that I've wasted.
But this year, I am claiming Mingi's lyrics from his verse in Silver Light:
Peace out to my past Without hesitation, keep on
Yes, I have wasted time. Yes, it would have been great to have formed habits and learned new skills when I was younger. Yes, I wish I was so much farther along my path than I am now.
But these regrets do nothing for me. They do not improve my life in the slightest. What does improve my life is letting them go so that I can move on.
And I love that Silver Light is not only buzzy and synthy and dramatic--which are all my favorite things in music--but that it is absolutely bursting with hope. It acknowledges the pain that we've endured and says "Yes, it happened, and yes, it matters. But now we let it go and fearlessly move forward into a much, much brighter day" and that is the message that I'm carrying with me into 2024.
If you have also chosen a Song of the Year, do let me know. I highly recommend it.
Be the Light and have a Blessed High Halazia.
I considered picking a new song of the year based somehow around my word of the year (rose), but there are not a lot of ateez songs that speak to flowers or roses specifically, and I’ll be damned if my song of the year isn’t an ateez song.
So in the end, I’ve decided that my song of the year will once again be Halazia because I think Halazia blessings are what will sustain me through the year.