[This post originally appeared on reddit after I attended the January 2022 Beginning of the End tour in Dallas. It was written in a post-concert haze and many of the links are to now deleted fancams on Twitter. It was the first time I'd seen ATEEZ in person. The post is being uploaded here for archival purposes, but you can read the original post and comments here.]
Generally, I don’t like to write about anything that I can’t speak on or that I haven’t thought about a lot and developed some analysis on. So it feels weird to write this when my brain is just a soft pile of happy mush, and my main thoughts are filled with excited cussing. You can ask my friends: all I did for the first twenty minutes after that concert ended was text everyone I know saying holy shit and also loudly proclaiming it in the car every five minutes. But I’m going to try–forgive the length and the gushing and the incoherent thoughts. I’m about to bare my whole soul.
Before the concert, I was nervous–for a multitude of reasons. One of the biggest ones was that the concert would be canceled. I thought that the only way the concert would get canceled was if one of the boys got sick, and you know, the situation isn’t great right now. So basically every day, I tempered my excitement with a reminder that it could still be canceled. Then there was the Mingi scare prior to Newark, and honestly y’all, I’ve been a mess.
I was also nervous because I was attending alone, which wasn’t actually the original plan. I planned to go with 3 of my best friends (2 atinys and a casual) and my husband, who is a well-known Shinestar. But that’s 5 people, and tickets were sold in blocks of 4. While it was hard to get tickets for all of the shows, Dallas was on another level. It was the smallest venue BY FAR with a capacity ⅓ the size of the Newark and LA shows. And it was the only show in the middle swath of the US. So we did our absolute best getting tickets, and it ended up that we had 4 together, and one much closer to the stage alone. As the person who got everyone into ATEEZ, we decided I would take the solo closer one. But it was all good because we would at least all ride together and hang out, right? Once the concert started, I’d be lost to the music anyways, so who was I to care that I’d be sitting alone?
Then MMT announced sound check tickets, and I was the only person who purchased them in time. So suddenly, I wasn’t even riding and hanging out with my friends. I was arriving at the venue like 5 hours early and hanging out alone all day. I was deeply uncomfortable and nervous, and also a little sad, but still happy. I know none of that makes sense–but I just had a lot of Feelings.
And then of course, there was the mask situation. The venue didn’t require masks or vaccines or anything. Texas just said fend for yourselves, which was a real embarrassing moment for me and my city.
Of course most of those feelings were for naught because it turned out to be maybe the best experience of my life. The concert wasn’t cancelled–it happened; everyone was so nice and a group of friends adopted me for the soundcheck line; and almost every single person I saw was not only wearing a mask, they were wearing a surgical or kn95 mask. And I’m so happy with every single choice I made that led me to last night.
Listen, soundcheck was objectively not worth the price, but I DO NOT CARE. I would pay double what I paid to experience soundcheck again. Do y’all remember when they did that The Man of ATEEZ show? The first episode was about how they’d convince KJK to collab with them? But in reality, they’d definitely already recorded the song and the music video? And we just had to pretend that the show was real life? Soundcheck was like that.
Before we got into soundcheck, while standing in line, we could hear an actual soundcheck.
The sound shook the walls where we waited for a good thirty minutes. (By the way, the lines were an absolute mob with no organization, and again, I can’t even bring myself to care.) Once in our seats, the boys came out and said they’d perform Wave as their first soundcheck song, and everyone was standing and screaming the entire time. I don’t have words for how fucking good it was. You guys know how Hongjoong performs during Wave–HE DID THAT DURING SOUNDCHECK. He was jumping around, doing his facial expressions, and he looked like he was having the time of his goddamn life, and it was soundcheck. He performed like that for soundcheck.
After they finished the song, Hongjoong said, “It sounded good to me.” Then he said something to the other guys in Korean that I can only assume was “did it sound good to you” because they all responded affirmatively, and then Hongjoong said again, “Okay it looks like it’s good, we’ll do Say My Name now.” And I lost my mind.
Say My Name, to me, is an absolutely perfect song. When it comes on, I can’t do anything other than stop and listen to it. It doesn’t even matter that it’s not my favorite song. It’s a perfect song. And oh my god did they sound good. Jongho, you guys. Jongho. And then, I could feel Mingi and Hongjoong’s raps in my heartbeat. It was like it entered my being and became a part of me. I cried at the bridge. Literal tears. I just felt so moved and overwhelmed that they were here, right in front of me, and performing like that, for like 400 people tops. I could not stop smiling. And ask anyone–as soon as it ended, I just messaged every person I know and said “holy shit” repeatedly because for one of the first times in my life words had utterly failed to convey what I was feeling.
Even just from soundcheck, they were just so good. They were so good. The dancing, the charisma, the vocals. All of it. I just kept thinking how can 8 people be this talented? How can they be so goddamn good? Because they are. They are spectacular. I heard 2 songs, it cost over $100, and I would pay it again in a heartbeat. I’d pay double, triple even, that amount. Every single second of that soundcheck was honestly a perfect second, and I wish I could live in those seconds forever or at least return to them once a day. I didn’t care at all that I was there by myself.
After soundcheck, it took another hour or so for my friends and husband to arrive, but I occupied my time buying more merch I didn’t need and texting people “holy shit” so it was all fine. I was able to hang out with them for maybe thirty minutes, and then we all split off to go to our respective seats. And again, there was this moment of sadness for not being able to experience something so amazing with my favorite people, but once ATEEZ was on stage, literally nothing in my life mattered.
Like I said earlier, the Dallas venue is small small small. There was no floor seats, just four tiers, but the first two tiers were basically the same. The third had a large walkway between it and second, and the fourth tier was above the suites. My seat was the front row of the third tier, and I had a completely unobstructed view of the stage. No person waving a lightiny in front of me, no tall person blocking my view, no heads at all. Straight shot. And because the venue was small, even though the tier is worse, it’s still a better seat than the LA show I’m going to on Sunday.
The Kingdom Wonderland stage was literally the perfect way to open the concert. It set expectations right from the start. This is who we are and we’re going to blow your fucking mind tonight. And damn it they did. They are so good. So so so so good. No one has a right to be that good. Honestly, the rest of this is just going to be a jumble of my favorite moments from the concert all out of order because the whole concert is a blur. There was so much to see and so much to look at–it was an impossible feeling. I wanted to see all of it but I couldn’t because my tiny brain couldn’t comprehend the amount of things that were happening right in front of my eyes.
Seonghwa’s high note in Utopia changed my fucking life. I’m basically a shinestar now. He sang that note with his whole damn soul. Twice. And I could not get over it. If anyone has found a twitter clip of that moment, please share it with me because a bitch is desperate.
Every song was incredible. Jongho hit every note. He was like a monster on that stage. His voice filled that venue entirely, and he just sounded so good. I don’t know if you guys know this, but Jongho can fucking sing. His voice is incredible, and it’s even more incredible live. His voice during Turbulence was shockingly good–which is all the more impressive because even he has said that song is hard to sing. And he did it perfect after performing for almost 3 hours.
And Hongjoong? My god can he work a stage. There was not a single second where he wasn’t interacting with the crowd. The only time he wasn’t directly hyping up the crowd was when he was doing their full out choreo.
I don’t know how they do it. The amount of energy they had on the stage–the whole time–was just awe inspiring. After the concert, Yeosang wasn’t able to do the hi touch due to dehydration, and I was honestly shocked when we heard that news. Even my Yeosang biased friend–who definitely had her eyes on Yeosang–was shocked. Because if he was suffering during that concert, you could not tell at all from the audience perspective.
He sang all his notes incredibly, even during Turbulence. He was on stage flexing–and I mean literally he flexed his arms. The camera zoomed in for it, and oh my god aklhjdfgkaj. He and Mingi did like 15 push-ups on stage at one point too. So it was honestly shocking to hear that he wasn’t actually okay, which again, is fucking awe inspiring. The amount of talent and heart those boys have. Damn.
Fireworks is a song that I didn’t love at first but eventually grew on me. Even still, it’s not one of my favorites. But last night? Holy shit. I’m so convinced that that song is a song that’s meant to be performed. Like when you’re hearing it live, you can’t help but get all the way hyped. The choreo is insane, and watching them sing while dancing to it is actually the craziest thing I’ve ever seen.
The concert version of Inception is also my favorite version of Inception. I need them to release that as a track. I’ve always been middling on Inception–it’s good, but not my favorite song. But this version was incredible. They did a masked dance with it, and whatever they were doing musically reminded me of like an almost creepy marionette show, and charming horror is my favorite concept. So this really spoke to me.
One of the cutest moments of the night was when they were “showing off” for the crowd. Hongjoong asked Jongho to do the aegyo, and Jongho did the most adorable, heart wrenching blush. Then three of the members, Yeosang, Hongjoong, and Yunho, started circling him while doing the pick it up dance as the crowd chanted maknae. It was so wholesome and adorable, and that moment will live with me forever.
We also did the wave with our lightinys, which was honestly deeply stressful. I was afraid we’d mess it up and embarrass ourselves forever. But it was fine. Dallas didn’t disappoint me. Mingi did this adorable little dance to start the crowd wave. It involved the gangam style dance and pretty sure also finger guns, and my Mingi biased friend would be able to speak better about this–or maybe she wouldn’t because like no words–but it was so cute. At one point, the crowd started chanting Mingi, trying to get him to take his jacket off, and he did the cutest little finger wag while saying no. Ugh. So adorable.
A lot has already been said about last night’s Yunho. He really was looking great with his hair, but I don’t think it’s just that. He was so charismatic last night. When he talked, the whole crowd was just totally whipped for his cute smile and laugh. He was a bright little sunshine, full of energy. It’s easy to see why so many people fell in love with him last night. I started that concert with two Yeosang biased friends, and I ended that concert with one Yeosang biased friend and one Yunho biased friend.
I have not personally recovered from Wooyoung and Yunho’s dance break in The Real, so I will not be able to talk about it.
But I do want to say that the crowd itself also added so much to the experience. Almost everyone had a lightiny, which was so beautiful to see when you looked out into the crowd, and it was just so clear how excited Dallas was for this concert. There was a moment where Hongjoong asked the crowd to stomp their feet like they did the first time ATEEZ came, and the whole venue shook with it. It sounded like thunder. The venue may have been small, but every single person was THERE to see the boys.
Hongjoong started the concert with a nice yeehaw, and then when we took the concert picture, the whole crowd said yeehaw. Wooyoung’s yeehaw was the most ridiculous, most adorable thing, and I love him so much for it. It was this beautiful high pitched yee with like the softest haw. Perfect. I desperately wish I could find a clip of it. And the whole crowd yelling yeehaw was so ridiculous too because it was like we were imitating Woo since he’s the one who wanted us to say it. Also, I’ve lived in Texas my whole life, and I think that concert was the first time I’ve ever said yeehaw. But it seemed to make ATEEZ very happy to say yeehaw with us, so I guess I’ll start saying yeehaw now. I have no other choice.
I wish everyone could experience the happiness I felt at that concert. I know I’m biased, but I truly believe the concert was something special. One of my friends who went (our baby Yunho Power) considers herself a casual. She doesn’t claim the atiny title and mostly just watches content with me and our other friends when we get together. But even she texted her husband during the opening bit and said the concert was one of the best things she’s ever seen. The whole car ride home, she just kept repeating that too. She even texted this morning that she's still riding the high. So I know I’m biased, but she is not. That was the best concert I’ve seen in my whole life. I don’t have an imagination big enough to imagine how a show could possibly be better.
I know a lot has been said about some of the ending sentiments changing too, and I’m not really going to talk about it except to say that their words last night were absolutely beautiful. Their whole soul went into that concert and every moment of it is a moment they should be proud of. I believe it’s a disservice to Seonghwa to remember the concert as the night he changed his words instead of what it should be remembered for: their amazing performances, their insane talent, the way they lit up the whole fucking venue.
So yes. My experience in Dallas was incredible. The concert was so good. And I will never forget it. 🤠
Comments