For your weekend amusement, every other Saturday we will share a collection of images centered around the members' styling (such as hair, fashion, accessories, etc.) or stylistic choices (like selfie angles or weird filters). Perhaps we will have deep, meaningful thoughts about them. Perhaps we won't.
When I originally conceived of this idea (two days ago) most definitely inspired by the Wonderland-ish stylings we've been seeing for Crazy Form, my thought was that it would be an easy and quick little compilation that I would be able to throw together and go about the rest of my Thanksgiving break.
But the idea evolved, as so many ideas do, and the next thing I knew I was researching fourragère and frogging (do not google without specifying that you mean for fashion) and developing a custom rubric and so now here we are. I didn't want to just rank all of ATEEZ's military stylings based on how I feel about them. That's boring and also no one cares. Not even I care. So instead, we are ranking them based on their overall effectiveness not just on the battlefield but also in the court of public opinion--because sometimes winning the war begins by winning the hearts of the people you are sworn to protect. (It's me. I'm the people.)
I developed a rubric with five categories:
Authenticity: On a scale of marching band to war hero, how convincing are these uniforms, even for a hypothetical world? Do I believe that a department of defense would sign off on these looks?
Cohesiveness: One reason for uniforms is to make a group of people feel like one body. So, ranging from ragtag militia to disciplined unit, how well do the outfits make ATEEZ feel like a unified fighting force?
Likelihood of Winning a War: This one's all about intimidation. Do these clothes give the vibe that this unit will suffer an embarrassing defeat at the hands of a better outfitted army, or will they obtain a glorious victory through the power of fierceness and frogging?
Government Funding: Do the powers that ATEEZ represent pour all of their spending into things like education and infrastructure leaving their military to fend for themselves? Or do they beef up their fighting force in order to ensure global domination? You can tell based on how well the uniforms are accessorized.
Ability to Convince Me to Enlist for the Uniform: On a scale of "I'll stay in my PJs, thanks" to "Sign me up!", how badly do I also want to wear this uniform? Is the uniform inspiring enough to haul me out of this comfortable chair and into basic training?
When deciding whether styling was military-inspired or not, I was looking for things like sashes, medals, trims around the cuffs, epaulettes, fourragère (decorative ropes), frogging (decorative closures), emblems, facings, metallic buttons, etc. The rule I followed was that if at least two members were wearing military clothes, I counted it and judged the group as a whole. Because why not.
The other rule I followed is that I was not allowed to second guess. Once I made my ranking, I was stuck with it. Otherwise, I'd still be debating about some of these. If you disagree with any of my choices, I welcome a healthy argument in the comments.
I have organized these from least to most effective. Additionally, if the styling was associated with a performance that I could find on YouTube, I have linked it in the titles because it's important to see the clothes "in action."
Enough explanations. Let the rankings begin.
I have fond feelings for these fits as I had just joined the fandom when they wore them and performed Answer before it had even officially dropped.
There are a few reasons that I don't think these uniforms will win any wars. The burgundy is classy but doesn't inspire much fear in the hearts of enemies. Additionally, none of them are decorated at all outside the feathery sash. This tells me these boys are brand new to war games. I get the sense that this is an entirely new, untested country.
Similarly, some of these boys are a bit more "fresh faced" than others. I'm not sure Hwa realizes what he's getting into. I really enjoy what Yunho's got going on. Jongho's half sailor collar is at best a bit confusing and at worst an indication that the government's rushed their military into combat not fully outfitted.
230805 The Fellowship: Break the Wall Asia Tour
Listen, you have to be careful with beading and bedazzling on the battlefield. It's really just not the place for it. White is also a difficult color to deal with during times of war.
220131 The Fellowhip: Beginning of the End Tour
It looks like Hongjoong, Yeosang and Mingi did not inform the others they were headed off to battle. The black is very classy, and the silver tipped shoes are a nice touch to really tie together with the silver trim. Still, I'm not sure this unit has their head in the right game.
Khaki is classic. And it's nice to see the boys have really earned their stripes. Except they haven't earned stripes at all but rather various medals--and decor inspires confidence. However, something about these uniforms reminds me of the opening scene of White Christmas, and so all I can think is Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye being bad at war.
We're back with the burgundy but scoring a bit higher than last time. These feel a bit more put together. There's some indication of military decoration. While I'm not certain I myself would enjoy being draped in head to toe merlot, I think ATEEZ are pulling it off. Not for battle, of course. I'm not sure they're taking it very seriously.
Okay, now what was I just saying about taking the war effort seriously? Obviously they look amazing in the pinstripes, but are they really appropriate for defending democracy or whatever? Bypass the battlefield, gents. Head on over to a speakeasy in 1933.
200208 The Fellowship: Map the Treasure in Seoul (Day 1)
Sometimes my feelings get in the way and make me boost the score because maybe I think sparkly velvet is really lovely if entirely impractical for war. The trimmings also suggest that the government means business when it comes to defending their territory.
I really love these, but that won't save me in the heat of battle, will it. I'm just not sure that these looks will inspire confidence in the citizens who are depending on ATEEZ for protection. We will instead look for great performances.
230210 The Fellowship: Break the Wall Europe Tour
There's something about the black and gold that is a bit intimidating. Still, the trims cannot hide the fact that these outfits don't appear battle ready or weather tight.
Listen. I know this one's a stretch. But Jongho is giving retired, highly decorated general based on the vibes of his coat alone. Someone comes at me with that coat, and I am surrendering immediately.
There's an argument to be made that this is a powerful and scrappy little militia who has no problem going above the law to get the job done. But mostly I feel these boys are going to force me to play paintball and then take it way too seriously.
200209 The Fellowship: Map the Treasure in Seoul (Day 2)
All I'm saying is that the bright red is a little bit intimidating. They aren't scared of being spotted. And maybe they picked that color on purpose because they know something I don't.
There is actually an orange version of these pants but I couldn't find a good picture of them. Either way, I get the sense these boys are ready to scrap. They seem unified even if not powerfully outfitted. They move lightly and get the job done quickly. Either that or we're all headed to Crossfit.
Honestly, I feel these could go either way. I've said before that white is a liability on the battlefield, but there's a regality in these I feel could give enemies pause. Like, are you really sure you want to go up again these guys?
And here we are. The classic. The Original. The Beginning.
They do look like they are taking this very seriously. They look like they've seen some things. They've served and will continue to serve. Also, I feel like their loyalties are in question. They look like maybe they're hiding something.
220208 The Fellowship: Beginning of the End in Seoul
These are really quite powerful. Not terribly decorated, but there's a richness to them that indicates they're backed by money and power.
191110 Fansign
I'm sure there's a performance in these, but I couldn't find it. Seems odd to think they'd have special uniforms made just for a fansign. But, then again, maybe they would. The red details are scary, and the medals speak to their experience. I just don't think I'm going to question a man in this uniform and that's dangerous indeed.
These are so similar to the previous ones that I had to go back and forth and play a serious game of spot the difference. While the suits themselves are different (notice the trims), the stylists have reused the medals. Since these fits came first, they are the og medals and that gives them the edge.
191109 Fansign (191031 MCountdown)
I know. I know what I've said about white. And I promise this isn't based on their scary Halloween performance and styling. This is about the power of a good suit. Notice the contrast facings on Yunho's jacket. And we have two different capes at play here. This unit is not messing around.
The ropes at San's hip I think are meant to be like an exaggerated fourragère, which is a decorative rope that is awarded for service (I told you I did my research). The navy with burgundy and gold details is very classy. This unit feels rooted in tradition which gives them strength while also being open to fresh ideas that keep them flexible. And I think that balance gives them a lot of power.
I know I have talked about these outfits somewhere before (maybe here, maybe elsewhere), but they continue to be some of my favorites. They're not perfect of course. If you watch the Wonderland performance, you'll see that Hongjoong's jacket swallows him up a bit. But the deep blue with the gold trim is just so lovely. It feels rich--like these soldiers have a well-funded government backing them up.
Before I reveal the fiercest of all ATEEZ military stylings, I have two singular articles of clothing (jackets. It's always jackets with me) that deserve a special mention.
Yunho's military green jacket is simply amazing. It's very simple, but the cut and color are both rugged and elegant. And I love the metallic buttons.
Jongho looks ready to go to the city to see a marching band. I love that it's actually a bomber (I could do a whole list of good, good bombers) but the white trim mimics what you would see on European military uniforms. It's so good in so many ways.
231105 The World Ep. Fin Promo
It feels a bit unfair that we haven't even seen these outfits in action, but they still rank at the top for intimidation. Many of us have noticed that their uniforms seem distressed and incomplete--as though they've gathered bits and pieces wherever they can to cobble something regal-ish together. That level of dedication and commitment cannot be underestimated on the battlefield. The damage to the uniforms suggests that they've already seen action and lived to tell the tale. This earns them my loyalty and devotion.
I suppose it shouldn't be a surprise that a group whose story revolves around revolution has so many militaristic looks. I applaud the stylists for keeping them fresh each time they bring them back. Five days out from the comeback, let's hope ATEEZ can lead us to victory.
Comments